Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize