so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
