So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
