OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
