Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
