Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
