I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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