He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
