Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
