Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
