Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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