i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize