This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just want nice things and good sex
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
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