Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
