Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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