I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize