So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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