Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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