Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
sex in a hospital.. check
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize