mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
