you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm having to shit out rocks
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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