Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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