So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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