Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
