she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
