the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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