I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
