You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
