I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
