Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
