question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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