my vag is so smooth its legendary
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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