Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
