Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
