so that wasnt chicken after all
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
