girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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