I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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