i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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