I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
