ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
