Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Randomize
