talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
the liver wants what the liver wants
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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