I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Duck Duck Cougar?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
