im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
