I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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