How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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