I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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