you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you win again, gameday.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
