i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
