My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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