so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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