i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
