So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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