did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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