There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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