she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
