her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just google imaged poop.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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