dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
